Friday, December 25, 2015

Deleted Scenes from Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Non-spoiler alert: this parody does not give anything away about the film.
I can't tell you how I acquired the scenes that were deleted from the screenplay or from the film, but here are a few of the bits that were edited out of Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
1. Evil guy Kylo Ren's evil sidekick is revealed to be Jar-Jar Binks, who altered his voice surgically and now seeks revenge on all who mocked him--which is pretty much everyone in the galaxy.
2. Han Solo is depressed that after 30 years of ceaseless toil hauling sketchy cargo around the galaxy, he's still patching up the Millennium Falcon. 3CPO's attempt to cheer Han fails to lift his dark mood and Chewbacca has to be restrained from removing the protocol droid's head.
3. The Republic's forces downloaded Windows 10 and now their communication system is in disarray, leaving them vulnerable to attack.
4. R2D2 has an identity crisis: are he and 3CPO a straight couple, gay, or two "it"s? Or are they "just friends"?
5. Luke Skywalker has been doing very well for himself selling Rebel-Republic bonds and credit default swaps. The attack on the Republic has ruined his portfolio and well, it's not nice to fool with Jedi business....
6. Chewbacca confesses to Princess Leia that he still hasn't gotten over her cruel reference to him as a "walking carpet."
7. Rebel pilots complain about having to fly decrepit old-generation X-Wing fighters, and their leaders admit the financing of new fighters fell through when the galactic Central Bank raised interest rates.
8. The Dark Side forces the galaxy to only use dark-chocolate chips in all chocolate chip cookies.
There are more lost scenes, but we know enough now to be grateful for ruthless editors.
My new book is #2 in Amazon's Kindle ebooks > Business & Money > International Economics: A Radically Beneficial World: Automation, Technology and Creating Jobs for All. The Kindle edition is $8.45, a 15% discount from its list price of $9.95.

NOTE: Contributions/subscriptions are acknowledged in the order received. Your name and email remain confidential and will not be given to any other individual, company or agency.
Thank you, Daniel E. ($11), for yet another much-appreciated generous contribution to this site--I am greatly honored by your steadfast support and readership.

Terms of Service

All content on this blog is provided by Trewe LLC for informational purposes only. The owner of this blog makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this site or found by following any link on this site. The owner will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information. These terms and conditions of use are subject to change at anytime and without notice.


Our Privacy Policy:


Correspondents' email is strictly confidential. This site does not collect digital data from visitors or distribute cookies. Advertisements served by a third-party advertising network (Investing Channel) may use cookies or collect information from visitors for the purpose of Interest-Based Advertising; if you wish to opt out of Interest-Based Advertising, please go to Opt out of interest-based advertising (The Network Advertising Initiative). If you have other privacy concerns relating to advertisements, please contact advertisers directly. Websites and blog links on the site's blog roll are posted at my discretion.


PRIVACY NOTICE FOR EEA INDIVIDUALS


This section covers disclosures on the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) for users residing within EEA only. GDPR replaces the existing Directive 95/46/ec, and aims at harmonizing data protection laws in the EU that are fit for purpose in the digital age. The primary objective of the GDPR is to give citizens back control of their personal data. Please follow the link below to access InvestingChannel’s General Data Protection Notice. https://stg.media.investingchannel.com/gdpr-notice/


Notice of Compliance with The California Consumer Protection Act
This site does not collect digital data from visitors or distribute cookies. Advertisements served by a third-party advertising network (Investing Channel) may use cookies or collect information from visitors for the purpose of Interest-Based Advertising. If you do not want any personal information that may be collected by third-party advertising to be sold, please follow the instructions on this page: Limit the Use of My Sensitive Personal Information.


Regarding Cookies:


This site does not collect digital data from visitors or distribute cookies. Advertisements served by third-party advertising networks such as Investing Channel may use cookies or collect information from visitors for the purpose of Interest-Based Advertising; if you wish to opt out of Interest-Based Advertising, please go to Opt out of interest-based advertising (The Network Advertising Initiative) If you have other privacy concerns relating to advertisements, please contact advertisers directly.


Our Commission Policy:

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. I also earn a commission on purchases of precious metals via BullionVault. I receive no fees or compensation for any other non-advertising links or content posted on my site.

  © Blogger templates Newspaper III by Ourblogtemplates.com 2008

Back to TOP